Finding Common Ground Through Mediation
Utilizing the courts to resolve family law issues through adversarial litigation is a recipe for making a difficult situation even more difficult.
At Mediator.Law, I advocate Mediation as a superior alternative to traditional litigation. Mediation enables the couple to negotiate settlement of the issues in a confidential manner and focus on what is best for the family for the longer term. Mediation is an entirely voluntary, confidential process, and requires the mutual consent of both parties to participate.
Mediation allows separating and divorcing couples to take control of planning their own lives and make good decisions about their future. It is especially beneficial for parents who will need to continue making joint decisions about their children well into the future.
As your lawyer, I can guide you carefully through the mediation process, OR, I can serve as a Neutral Mediator, assisting both of you to reach an agreement. I tailor my services to your personal situation, offering mediation that is dependent on the nature and extent of the issues to be decided upon and the personalities of the couple. I can even mediate online, allowing you to participate wherever you are, and enabling both of you to participate while in the comfort of your own homes.
To arrange a low-cost 30-minute “introductory Zoom meeting” for Mediation, call 503-241-3141 or send an email today.
How Long Does The Process Take?
Most divorcing couples require between 2 to 8 sessions, depending upon the number of areas of disagreement. The more areas of agreement reached prior to coming to Mediation, the less sessions would be required to resolve the remaining issues. For example, if you and your partner already have a workable parenting plan and only have issues over how you want to divide property, fewer sessions should be necessary.
Also, the decision-making process learned in Mediation can serve as a model for improved future communications. Studies show mediated settlements have a consistently higher compliance rate because the divorcing couple has created their own agreement.
As a mediating-attorney, I can assist in filing all necessary papers with the court, including starting the dissolution of marriage action, preparing and filing the necessary disclosure documents, and preparing the agreement, judgment, and final papers to be filed with the court. AND, No court appearances are necessary for any of us with mediation.
According to Nolo.com, folks who hired a full-service divorce lawyer—meaning that the attorney handled everything in the case, from start to finish—the average total costs were $12,900. That included $11,300 in attorneys’ fees and about $1,600 in expenses such as court costs and fees for child custody evaluators, real estate appraisers, tax advisors, and other experts.
Also, keep in mind that “cost” not only means dollars spent, but the emotional cost to the couple and their children. This emotional cost is greatly reduced by the mediation process.
Mediation is Voluntary! You must come with an Open Mind:
Three common problems couples have in Communicating are:
- Not clearly speaking with the other person, but taking a side instead of working toward a mutual agreement;
- Not actively listening to the other person, but only listening to rebut the other person’s statements;
- Misunderstanding or misinterpreting what the other person has said.
The couple determines the pace of the proceedings, not the court docket. The couple makes decisions for themselves, not the judge.
Flexible, Creative Solutions
The Neutral Mediator helps the couple explore creative solutions to their issues, not limited to what the law allows or what might happen in court.
Instead of tearing the family apart with an adversarial process, better relationships can be maintained within the entire family.
Conflict and hostility between divorcing parents can be damaging to children. By keeping the process respectful, children are protected.
If you need “extra” help, Mediation can include Coaches, a Child Specialist and a Neutral Financial to support both of you and address critical financial and emotional issues.
“I have spent over four decades working with divorcing families and studying the best ways to help them make better decisions.”
EXPERIENCE IS NOT EXPENSIVE… IT’S PRICELESS!
I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon, graduating from Portland State University and Lewis and Clark – Northwestern School of Law. Rain doesn’t bother me and I still think the only “pro” sports team in town is the Blazers! [congrats, Thorns: NWSL 2017 champions; and Timbers: MLS 2015 champions and 2018 runner-ups].